One beautiful day, little Wrinkly Man and Chubby Guy were sitting by the pool. They were fatigued from the hot sun and the minutes of swimming they had endured, so were enjoying a few moments to lounge in a chair together. They had expertly planned to both wear their Hawaiian-themed swimsuits, which were perfectly accented by the matching swim towel draped over the chair behind them – almost as if forming a picturesque backdrop of sorts.

Chubby Guy was enjoying himself immensely, and appeared to be daydreaming as he gazed upwards with a look of awe. Wrinkly Man, however, wore a grimace upon his face, as Chubby Guy was hogging the chair and sitting on Wrinkly Man’s arm. Lots of weight. Little arm. You would grimace, too.

Suddenly, a foul smell pierced through the aroma of chlorine. The smile on Chubby Guy’s face had grown larger, and it quickly became evident that he had tooted,and it was a smelly one. Poor Wrinkly Man. He was downwind. He looked down at the source of the smell with great disdain.

The two continued to sit in relative contentment, until Chubby Guy’s stomach began to gurgle. Drool poured from his mouth and covered his man boobs (not necessarily because he was hungry, but because drool always pours from his mouth). He looked over at his friend, and in a matter of seconds he did the unthinkable – he ate little Wrinkly Man. The smile vanished from Chubby Guy’s face as he realized what he had done – one of his best friends was gone and he was all alone.

The moral of this story? Don’t eat your friends – you will find yourself without any.

* Very loosely based on the true story of Asher and Malachi’s afternoon at the pool yesterday.